New Reality TV Show - Sperm Race

Ummm....

Big sperm race is staged on German reality TV

After Big Brother and Jungle Camp, Germans can tune in to a TV reality show this week that breaks new ground in trashiness ... Sperm Race. Twelve men will compete against each other to see which one of them has the 'fastest' sperm.

The contestants, who include two German celebrities and a health freak, begin by donating sperm in a clinic, say the programme's producers, Endemol.

The sperm will then be frozen and sent to the company's studio in Cologne, where the sperm will 'race' towards an egg - lured by a chemical that encourages them across the finishing line. Three doctors, including a gynaecologist, will be on hand to make sure the sperm behave correctly, while cameras will record it all.

As well as laying claim to the title of Germany's most fertile man, the winner will also be given a suitably German reward, a red Porsche.

From here.

Zero Rings For Randy Moss - PRICELESS

This is so freaking hilarious!

Anti-Moss billboards spring up in Wisconsin

Green Bay Packers fans have taken a bold step to express their dislike for enigmatic Vikings receiver Randy Moss — they've purchased billboards, according to the Wisconsin State Journal.

The Journal says four large, purple billboards were installed Monday on Aberg Avenue, and visible to eastbound motorists. The financier, however, remains at large.

* The first one reads: "Squirting an Official With a Water Bottle $25,000."

* The second one: "Ramming a Meter Maid $1,200 And Probation."

* The third: "Mooning Pack Fans $10,000."

* The fourth: "Zero Rings for Randy Moss. PRICELESS."

By now, it would be hard not to know that Moss pretended to moon fans at Lambeau Field after scoring a touchdown during the Vikings upset victory during the opening round of the NFC playoffs.

See PICS of one of the billboards and read the rest of the article here.

Damn, today is so boring with no real sports on. I miss NASCAR. I miss football.

I can make it to next weekend. I know I can. I have to have faith.

The Super Bowl is next weekend. (Don't forget your picks peeps!) Then NASCAR starts up in three weeks. If only I can make it through this dark time in my life...LOL

Update @ 6:25 PM: Damn it! Desperate Housewives is a repeat. Argh. I'll have to find a better way to spend my time. I hate repeats in the middle of a season!!!

Attention Safeway Shoppers

Safeway shopper card leads to arson arrest

Tukwila, Washington firefighter, Philip Scott Lyons found out the hard way that supermarket loyalty cards can come with a huge price. Lyons was arrested last August and charged with attempted arson. Police alleged at the time that Lyons tried to set fire to his own house while his wife and children were inside. According to the KOMO-TV and the Seattle Times, a major piece of evidence used against Lyons in his arrest was the record of his supermarket purchases that he made with his Safeway Club Card. Police investigators had discovered that his Club Card was used to buy fire starters of the same type used in the arson attempt.

For Lyons, the story did have a happy ending. All charges were dropped against him in January 2005 because another person stepped forward saying he or she set the fire and not Lyons. Lyons is now back at work after more than 5 months of being on administrative leave from his firefighter job.

The moral of this story is that even the most innocent database can be used against a person in a criminal investigation turning their lives completely upside down.

Read the set of local articles timelining the investigation and the rest of this article here.

I have a Kroger card like this. I think I've used it maybe 2 or 3 times in the 8-9 years I've had it because it creeps me out that they keep track of my purchases. It's none of their business when it comes to my Jello Fat-Free Sugar-Free Instant Chocolate pudding fetish.

On a completely different note, if I see this freaking commercial one more time I'm going to pull my hair out. It has to be the most obnoxious commercial out right now and it won't go away! I don't give a crap about your dancing, your tunes, your credit card, your show, or anything else! Stop the madness!

Tied for 2nd place in the obnoxious commercial category would have to be any of the Orbit commercials (they are the reason why I refuse to buy or chew that gum) and the Gap commercial with Lenny Kravitz and Sarah Jessica Parker.

That is all.

20 Years Ago Yesterday

This was recorded.

Has it really been 20 years? Wow. How time flies. Does anybody else remember this like it was yesterday?

*Must use IE to open the link above.

Fast Food Rage

Man accused of ramming car ahead of him in fast food drive-through lane
Yelled obscenities at driver ahead of him for taking too long

EASTON — Easton police Tuesday arrested an Easton man accused of ramming his car into the van in front of him in the McDonald’s drive-through lane because its occupants were taking too long to place their order.

Joseph Richard Howard, 40, of 806 Front Lane, is charged with five counts of second-degree assault, reckless endangerment, malicious destruction of property under $500, reckless driving, negligent driving, following too closely and leaving the scene of an attended property damage vehicle accident.

As they placed their order, the man began to yell obscenities at them and rev his car’s engine.

When the van drove to the pick-up window, the man followed and continued to yell at them. He drove his vehicle forward and hit the van twice with his car.

One of the women got out of the van and exchanged words with the man. He then drove away.

One of the women in the van identified Howard as the Mazda’s driver, according to charging papers. Howard told police he had been involved in an incident at McDonald’s earlier in the day.

Read it all here.

Could I get some extra ketchup?


ESSF's Fantasy Football Pop Quiz #4

For 10 points, how many Super Bowls have the New England Patriots played in not counting this one?

A Day In The Life Of...

A strip club DJ.

Good Grief Charlie Brown!

I worry more and more about the generation of children being raised to take over our country when I hear things like this...

School district cancels spelling bee

LINCOLN -- Karen Adams always enjoyed receiving her invitation. The WPRI-TV news anchorwoman and Lincoln resident looked forward to penciling in the school district’s spelling bee in her appointment calendar.

But there’s no note in her calendar this year. The Lincoln district has decided to eliminate this year’s spelling bee -- a competition involving pupils in grades 4 through 8, with each school district winner advancing to the state competition and a chance to proceed to the national spelling bee in Washington, D.C.

The administrators decided to eliminate the spelling bee, because they feel it runs afoul of the mandates of the federal No Child Left Behind Act.

"No Child Left Behind says all kids must reach high standards," Newman said. "It’sour responsibility to find as many ways as possible to accomplish this."

The administrators agreed, Newman said, that a spelling bee doesn’t meet the criteria of all children reaching high standards -- because there can only be one winner, leaving all other students behind.

From here.

Ugh.

And on a side note, here is the outcome to this little gem.

Summer homework dispute heats up

CHICAGO, Illinois (Reuters) -- Amid the dead of winter, a legal dispute is heating up in Wisconsin over whether students should be able to spend summer vacation free of homework.

On Thursday, Wisconsin Attorney General Peggy Lautenschlager released the state's reply in which she asked the court not only to dismiss the suit but suggested Larson and his father may need their knuckles rapped for bringing a no-merit lawsuit.

Her filing in county court in Milwaukee said the state had "no authority to implement any policy regarding course assignments" and that local school districts had the power to abolish summer vacation completely and hold classes all year long.

She also said that because the Larsons had been advised of the same thing informally beforehand, and sued anyway, the state schools superintendent "should be reimbursed for costs and attorney fees incurred in responding to the ... unmeritorious complaint," to be assessed against the Larsons.

From here.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Porn tape on Greek school bus

ATHENS (Reuters) - A bus driver shuttling pupils to school in northern Greece shocked their parents when he put on a porn tape, say officials.

The incident on Tuesday in the town of Kilkis prompted dozens of complaints by parents who have asked the bus company to sack him.

"The driver said 'kids we've got porn, do you want to watch it'," one of the pupils told reporters on Thursday. "Everyone started shouting yes, yes and he just put in a tape and we watched it on the small TV screens on the bus."

The children were aged 12 to 15.

The bus company will meet on Friday to decide what action to take against the driver, local government officials said.

From here.

Oh I don't know....


ESSF's Fantasy Football Pop Quiz #3

For 5 points, what is the official name of the Philadelphia Eagles' stadium?

No Words

At least 11 killed as California trains derail
Crash caused by SUV left on tracks by apparently suicidal man

GLENDALE, Calif. - A suicidal man parked his vehicle on railroad tracks Wednesday and set off a crash of two commuter trains that hurled passengers down the aisles and turned rail carriages into smoking, twisted heaps of steel, authorities said. At least 11 people were killed and more than 180 injured.

Before his rescue, one trapped man apparently used his own blood to write a note on a seat bottom. Using the heart symbol, he wrote “I love my kids” and “I love Leslie.” The man’s identity was not known, but Los Angeles Fire Department spokesman Rex Vilaubi said the man was alive when he was removed.

Authorities said the nation’s deadliest rail disaster in nearly six years was caused by an aborted suicide attempt by a man who parked his sport utility vehicle on the tracks. Police said he changed his mind about killing himself and got out of the vehicle before a Metrolink train smashed into it.

Juan Manuel Alvarez, 25, of Compton, was arrested and will face homicide charges, police Chief Randy Adams said. Alvarez had also slashed his wrists and stabbed himself, but the injuries were not believed to be life-threatening, authorities said. Adams said Alvarez had a criminal record that involved drugs.

Alvarez's sister-in-law, Maricela Amaya, told Telemundo TV that he had separated from his wife, Carmelita, three months ago. She said the wife got a court order to keep him away, but he had tried to see his wife and son.

"He was having problems with drugs and all that and was violent, and because of that he separated from her," Amaya said in Spanish.

“A few other times he went around as if he wanted to kill himself. I said, ‘if you're going to kill yourself, go kill yourself far away. Don't come by here telling that to my sister.’ ”

She said he had also threatened suicide in front of his son.

Hugo Moran, one of Costco employees who rushed to the wreck, could not fathom the suicide attempt.

“There’s a lot of ways to do it without hurting someone else,” Moran said. “Was he mad at himself or mad at the world? I don’t understand it.”

From here.

Wardrobe Malfunction

Budweiser 'wardrobe' ad pulled
Brewer won't air Super Bowl commercial poking fun at Janet Jackson's 'wardrobe malfunction' in '04.

NEW YORK (CNN/Money) - Anheuser-Busch is pulling an advertisement planned for this year's Super Bowl that would have poked fun at last year's infamous "wardrobe malfunction" that exposed Janet Jackson's breast during the halftime show, according to a published report.

The Wall Street Journal reported Wednesday that the ad would have shown a stagehand using Jackson's outfit to open a slippery bottle of Bud Light, causing it to tear. He tries to fix it using scotch tape.

The newspaper said the halftime show is not shown in the ad. Instead, it shows the stagehand watching the show on television as the crowd reacts and a game announcer chimes in: "Wow, that's something you don't see every day."

You can read the rest here.

Hopefully you'll read the article linked above and come away with the same conclusion I have.

Come on! Even Anheuser-Busch is gonna be a pussy now?

If you want to see the commercial, 'Wardrobe Malfunction', that they pulled, you can check it out here. You be the judge.

You must have WMP to play it from the link above and a decent cable connection. If you don't have one or the other or both, then just go to Budweiser's site and you can play it any old way you want to.

Gettin' Nekked

Officers disrobe to uncover sex crime
HPD changed its policy to crack down on 'spas' fronting for prostitution

By ROBERT CROWE
Copyright 2005 Houston Chronicle

Some Houston undercover vice officers have dropped their covers altogether, getting naked to make prostitution cases during a four-month sting operation that ended with 56 arrests in November, a Harris County prosecutor said.

Assistant District Attorney Ted Wilson said Police Chief Harold Hurtt has changed a long-standing, but unwritten Houston Police Department policy to allow undercover vice officers to disrobe to persuade suspected prostitutes to negotiate sex acts.

"Someone had to do something to shut these places down," Wilson said recently. "It was just so widespread. It had almost gotten in your face."

You can read the rest here.

Google's Video Search & Some RFID News

Google turns on TV search

Google's announcement of a service that allows users to search the content of television programs from the likes of PBS, the NBA, Fox News, and C-SPAN, will open up a new world of easy access to research and will ramp up search competition with Yahoo and others.

You can try it out yourself here. Now what exactly does it do you ask?

For users of Google Video, entering a query will return a list of relevant television programs with still images and text excerpts from the exact point in the program where the search phrase was spoken, the company said. Google Video also offers a preview page of still video images and five short text segments; upcoming episodes; search within shows; and program details.

The Google Video beta enables users to search across the closed captioning content of a growing number of TV programs that Google began indexing in December, 2004. Entering a query will return a list of relevant television programs with still images and text excerpts from the exact point in the program where the search phrase was spoken.

It seems pretty cool. I definitely see myself using this. You can read more about it here if you're interested.

Now check out this little test going on. I wonder what the RFID haters think about this....

Back That Ass Up

5th Circuit Rules in Rappers' Battle Over Phrase 'Back That Ass Up'

As often happens in the hip-hop world, two rappers became embroiled in a dispute over who owned the rights to a song that utilized a popular phrase. And it took the musical ear of the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals to settle the matter.

Positive Black Talk Inc., et al. v. Cash Money Records, et al. plunged the conservative appellate court into the world of booming bass lines and popular street slang.

Chief Judge Carolyn Dineen King, who wrote the opinion, boiled the case down to a dispute between Louisiana rappers Juvenile and D.J. Jubilee over who owned the rights to a song "that included the poetic four-word phrase 'back that ass up.'"

In its Jan. 13 opinion, the 5th Circuit sets out the following facts: In 1997, both rappers recorded songs with similar titles -- D.J. Jubilee, also known as Jerome Temple, recorded "Back That Ass Up," while Juvenile, also known as Terius Gray, recorded "Back That Azz Up."

Read the rest here. Oh how funny!

And I would like to say that I had one of my greatest days at work in years! I had a meeting with Big BossMan this morning that lasted almost an hour-and-a-half. I explained and showed him how we could take care of this one big 'thing' we've been trying to do at our company for a few years.

He was completely sold on it and called my immediate supervisor and the IT guy in to the meeting and told them we were going to do it the way ESSF explained it and that we all needed to get on it. I got major props from him one on one and major props from him in front of my supervisor for my ideas and initiative.

Everybody knows that I do a great job there but it's one of those 'of course ESSF's going to do good so why tell her' kind of things. It's just expected of me.

To have been told in front of my supervisor that my ideas were basically golden was so refreshing! I haven't felt that appreciated there in awhile. It feels nice.

*pats myself on the back

:)

Update at 6:53 PM: Wow! My day is just getting better and better! I swear I don't know what I've done lately to deserve all of these good things but I can handle it. I just got an email from Musicmatch saying that they've upgraded my Radio Platinum subscription to their On Demand subscription at no extra cost. It will stay the same price as the Radio Platinum price (difference of about $8/quarter) as long as I keep the subscription current. Woohoo!!!

One Very Lucky Man

Man Gets Impaled by 2x4 After Car Crash

(Myrtle Beach) A man was impaled through his shoulder by a 2x4 after a car accident early Monday morning.

Police say 31-year-old Terence Hennegan's car ran off a bridge just after midnight. The impact of the crash was strong enough to split a board and send part of it through his shoulder and out his back.

Rescue crews tried to airlift him to Charleston, but the 2x4 would not fit into the helicopter.

He was taken to Grand Strand Regional and later taken to Charleston, where tonight he is in stable condition.

From here.

Wow!

Pop Quiz #2

For 5 points, how many Super Bowls has Philadelphia won?

ESSF's Fantasy Football Pop Quiz #1

The first person to answer this correctly wins 10 points. Don't forget! Provide the answers to this question in the comments in this post.

The only ones eligible to answer these quizzes are: Chuck, Stuck, Chess, Kristin, Sparkey, Chris, Karen, Linda, Duck Hunter, and Roscoe. If you're not one of these people and you answer I will be extremely pissed off at you. You don't want that to happen. LOL

Provide the names of all of the official Cheerleaders of the New England Patriots and the Philadelphia Eagles according to their respective official NFL websites. I don't want the links. I want their names. Their names according to their profiles.

You may start...now!

Fantasy Football Standings After Round 3

Well kiddies. Some of you did good and some of you, well uh, how can I say this nicely, didn't do so well.

Here are the points results for Round 3:

Chuck - 18 points *perfect score
Stuck - 14 points
Chris - 5 points
Karen - 5 points
Kristin - 5 points
Linda - 5 points
Chess - 4 points
Duck Hunter - 4 points
Sparkey - 4 points
Roscoe - 0 points :(

And here are the standingss after Round 3:

Chuck - 39 points
Stuck - 36 points
Chess - 22 points
Kristin - 20 points
Sparkey - 19 points
Chris - 17 points
Karen - 17 points
Linda - 17 points
Duck Hunter - 11 points
Roscoe - 7 points

Congrats to Chuck who outscored Stuck to takeover the lead!

It will be the Philadelphia Eagles vs. the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl folks.

For the Final Round (the Super Bowl) on Sunday, Feb. 6th, you are to again pick the winner of the game AND try to guess which team will score first. In addition, you will also try to guess the final score of the game which will be used as a tie-breaker if needed. As always, email your picks to me.

I also think I'm going to have a few more bonus questions just for fun. You can consider them 'pop quizzes'....bwahahahaha! *And you only thought you were out of school. :)

These 'pop quizzes' will be in my posts leading up to the Super Bowl. There may be 2 one day, and none the next so only of those of you that faithfully read me can reap the full rewards. The first person to POST THE CORRECT ANSWER(S) IN THE COMMENTS SECTION OF THAT POST will win whatever points I assigned to that question. The points value will be posted along with the 'pop quiz'. Once again, do not email me the answer(s) to these pop quizzes. Post your answers in the Comments section of that post. Warning: if you email the answer(s) to me, I will disregard them.

I wish all of you good luck in this little treasure hunt and in your final standings.

Toodles for now! :)

Worthless News & J Lo

J Lo Now Available In Chocolate

JENNIFER LOPEZ has just become a little sweeter - she's been immortalised as a chocolate statue.

Confectionary giant CADBURY and MADAME TUSSAUDS have teamed up to create an edible likeness of the singer and actress.

The chocolate sculpting was introduced last week at Madame Tussauds Wax Museum in London.

From here.

I'll get the Fantasy Football scores up after work today. Some of you did a lot better than others. LOL I'm thinking I might introduce another bonus question for the Super Bowl...

100 Things About Me

I'm sitting here watching football and figured what the hell, may as well do it. I've been told more times than I can count that I don't share enough personal info about myself here. So if you really want to know something about me, here's your chance.

I'm not going to post it but you can download it if you want to check it out. It's just a simple .doc file.

If you're interested...

Let me know if you're having trouble downloading it.

RIP Johnny Carson

Johnny Carson has passed away due to emphysema.

From here.

He was such a great host. I'll never forget his next-to-last show. I cried right along with him when Bette Midler was singing to him. :(

Round 3 Fantasy Football Picks

Sunday! Sunday! Sunday! We're going to watch some football and see who's going to the Super Bowl! < /Dodge man in the Hemi commercial voice>

Here's an absofreakinglutely hilarious article for you to read regarding the weather situation for both of these games while you wait to sit down with your beer and remote. OK, so a couple of you might start doing that a tad early but don't worry, I won't tell. BTW, it's freaking cold! 34 degrees at the time of this posting. It's certainly too cold to go outside. Well besides after noon, when I can go buy some beer. LOL But anyways...

Looking at the picks below, I see that a lot of you picked the Falcons to win their game against the Eagles. Hmmmm. Domed team vs. Open Field team. Good luck to you Falcon pickers. You just might need it. But then again, the Texans killed the Bears earlier this season in Chicago. Yes the Bears had the worst defense in the league at the time but still. I'm trying to provide some hope here. Regardless of the outcome, this should be a very fun game to watch for no other reasons than watching Vick scrambling around and seeing the screw-ups made by both teams.

The Steelers/Patriots game is going to be a great game. From here, "The Patriots have won 15 of their last 17 games in temperatures of 35 or below. The Steelers are 5-2 in the same kind of weather the last three seasons." This is the game I can't wait to watch. These teams are matched up very well all the way from special teams to defenses. 'Big Ben' is a rookie but he hasn't lost a game yet. Tom Brady is, well, Tom Brady. This game will come down to the quarterbacks.

And finally, the reason why you're here. Your picks. Here they are in the order that I received them. Your game winning pick is listed first followed by your guess as to which team will score first. Good luck today everybody!

Linda
Atlanta Falcons (loser) ~~ Falcons (no)
New England Patriots (winner) ~~ Steelers (no)

Roscoe
Atlanta Falcons (loser) ~~ Falcons (no)
Pittsburgh Steelers (loser) ~~ Steelers (no)

Kristin
Atlanta Falcons (loser) ~~ Falcons (no)
New England Patriots (winner) ~~ Steelers (no)

Chess
Atlanta Falcons (loser) ~~ Falcons (no)
Pittsburgh Steelers (loser) ~~ Patriots (yes)

Chris
Atlanta Falcons (loser) ~~ Falcons (no)
New England Patriots (winner) ~~ Steelers (no)

Duck Hunter
Atlanta Falcons (loser) ~~ Eagles (yes)
Pittsburgh Steelers (loser) ~~ Steelers (no)

Sparkey
Atlanta Falcons (loser) ~~ Falcons (no)
Pittsburgh Steelers (loser) ~~ Patriots (yes)

Chuck *perfect score
Philadelphia Eagles (winner) ~~ Eagles (yes)
New England Patriots (winner) ~~ Patriots (yes)

Stuck
Philadelphia Eagles (winner) ~~ Eagles (yes)
New England Patriots (winner) ~~ Steelers (no)

Karen
Philadelphia Eagles (winner) ~~ Falcons (no)
Pittsburgh Steelers (loser) ~~ Steelers (no)

As usual, there will be gametalk in the Comments here. Come on in and join us. Don't forget the beer or other drink of your choice. ;)

The Drunk Monk

Monk poses as husband

Phnom Penh - A drunken Cambodian monk who jumped into a woman's bed posing as her husband was found out when she reached out to stroke her partner's hair and felt a shaven head instead, police said on Friday.

Police said monk Prak Rasmey, 25, had visited the family's home complaining he needed medical treatment for a swollen finger and, knowing the husband was an alcoholic and a gambler, rewarded him for his help with rice wine and money to play cards.

The scheming monk then returned when he was sure the husband was away gambling, and the wife, smelling alcohol on the interloper's breath in the dark, assumed the man who snuck into her bed was her boozing husband.

You can read the rest here.

Free Porn For You!

Quick! Go here!

Guys Gone Wild

Since I'm up and I'm wanting to post something I figure I'll post this. Choose the 56K or 200K for free viewing.

Enjoy! Take care, good night, and sweet dreams.

Update @ 1:45 am - I can't go to sleep. Damn sleep. I need a thunderstorm.

Update 2 @ 2:30 am - Will attempt sleep again. Argh.

Ch-Ch-Changes

Many today. Many more soon. Many many more within 6 months.

I usually thrive on stress but it's killing me today.

I wish I could just kick the thermostat down, curl up on the couch snuggled up in a blanket, and sleep a peaceful sleep.

But I can't so...

Off I go.

I Could Handle Getting This Lucky

Lottery winner gets lucky — 10 times
Seattle man takes home $1.75 million with multiple winning tickets

SEATTLE - Archie Herring of Seattle just missed winning this week’s huge $130 million Mega Millions lottery jackpot, correctly guessing five of the six numbers drawn but missing the all-important Mega Ball number.

He is crying all the way to the bank.

Herring, 68, played his five-number combination on 10 separate tickets, each one good for a second prize of $175,000, or a total of $1.75 million.

Herring brought his winning tickets into the Washington Lottery’s Seattle office Wednesday and walked away with a check of $1,312,500 after taxes.

Read the rest here.

And in other news, Roger Clemens will be back with the Astros in 2005 at a paltry rate of $18 mil-yun. Not bad for a year's work.

Another Four Years

Found via Spoons, Justin from Right Side Redux was at the inauguration yesterday and did some audioblogging and shot some video.

The heckler video is a 'must watch'.

Go here if you're interested.

Ribbit

Farmer rescues Reese from a frog wedged in her cleavage

Reese Witherspoon had to be rescued by a farmer's wife - when a frog got wedged in her cleavage.

The slimy creature landed on the star's plump chest when filming a scene for her new movie 'Vanity Fair'.

Pam Weaver, who was on set at the British country mansion - and supplies farm livestock for films - said providing a frog was an unusual request. The scene was supposed to feature Reese sitting at a table alongside a young girl who is hiding the amphibian in her hand.

But Pam revealed: "The frog leapt into the soup on the table! Then it jumped from the soup, and landed in Reese's cleavage. She was very good about it - she had a laugh."

Meanwhile, Reese says dying her hair brown hasn't stopped her being recognised by fans.

The sexy star, who got rid of her trademark blonde tresses to play Johnny Cash's wife, June Carter Cash, in forthcoming movie, 'Walk The Line', says her new image hasn't provided her with any more freedom.

She is quoted by Britain's Daily Express newspaper as saying: "People do seem to recognise me, even with this hair.

"I thought I'd have people fooled but when I flew into the airport yesterday, pretty much everybody knew it was me."

From here.

Thank God it's Friday! Have a great day everyone. Peace out.

*Reminder - Football Picks Due Tonight

Get your football picks in! You know who you are!

Hint: You may be Karen.

Thanks Chuck, Stuck, and Sparkey!

One Big Baby

Woman gives birth to 'giant' baby

SAO PAULO, Brazil (AP) — A woman in northeastern Brazil has given birth to what one doctor called a "giant baby," a boy weighing 16.7 pounds.

Read the story and see a pic of this gigantic baby here.

Have a wonderful stress-free day! :) 

Home Improvement

Company Removes Roof Of Wrong House

TAMPA, Fla. -- Roofer David Whitlow and his crew were half-finished tearing off the roof of a Seminole Heights home when he received a disturbing call from his office.

They were at the wrong house. The right house was a block to the north.

Mail carriers and taxi drivers often confuse the two streets. A neighbor once found a satellite dish installed erroneously on his roof.

Stay-Dry Superintendent Curtis Shrader said he will offer the owner a new roof at no cost.

Shrader said no employees will be reprimanded over the incident, admitting he himself would've made the same mistake because the streets are very confusing.

From here

On a side note, work was a bitch today. It's so nice to be home.

Next up, is Lost. Sorry American Idol but you go on DVR tonight. Take that!

I've only received 4 people's football picks so far. *hint hint

Today's Crazy eBay Auction

Come on now. Only the left?

Inner Peace

I got yet another one of them chain emails yesterday and I found this one really cute. Good luck in your endeavors and I hope you all have a great day today. Take care. :)


Subject: RE: Inner Peace

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me - and we all could use more calm in our lives.

Dr. Phil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I started and hadn't finished; and, before leaving the house this morning I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Baileys, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of both Prozac and Valium prescriptions, the rest of the cheesecake, some saltines and a box of chocolates.

You have no idea how freakin' good I feel!

Please pass this on to those you feel are in need of inner peace.

Halftime Incident

Game delayed by dog's doings
January 18, 2005

Orlando, Fla. (AP) -- Who didn't let the dog out?

A stink was raised during halftime of the Detroit Pistons-Orlando Magic NBA game on Tuesday night when the start of the second half was delayed by three minutes after a seeing-eye dog relieved itself on the court.

The dog was with a charity organization, Canine Companions for Independence, that was receiving a $10,000 donation from the Orlando Magic Youth Foundation.

When the Pistons came out for warmups, Rasheed Wallace walked up to the lane where the excrement had fallen, stopped and stared in disbelief. His teammates were just as confused before wide smiles broke out.

A custodian was enlisted to scoop up the mess and wipe up the remains with cleaner, a mop and towels.

And, um, has anybody else out there noticed that this makes two stories concerning dog poop in a row?

O Say Can You See?

Police hoping to red-flag 'poo pranksters'

Berlin - German police have their hands full - pranksters in Berlin have been sticking miniature American flags into piles of dog poop in public parks.

The series of incidents was originally thought to be in protest against the United States-led invasion of Iraq.

But then it continued through US President George Bush's re-election.

Police say they are completely baffled by these events, which have been going on for a year.

"We have sent out extra patrols to try to catch whoever is doing this in the act," said police spokesperson Reiner Kuechler.

"But frankly, we don't know what we would do if we caught them red-handed."

Josef Oettl, parks administrator for Bayreuth, said: "This has been going on for about a year now, and there must be 2,000 to 3,000 piles of excrement that have been claimed during that time."

Legal experts say there is no law against using faeces as a flag stand and the federal constitution is vague on the issue.

WTF?

Top 25 Innovations

Time Magazine's Top 25 Innovations of the Past Quarter Century

1. The internet
2. Cell phones
3. Personal computers
4. Fiber optics
5. Email
6. GPS
7. Laptop computers
8. Music CDs
9. Digital cameras
10. Radio frequency ID tags
11. MEMS
12. DNA fingerprinting
13. Automobile air bags
14. ATM machines
15. Advanced batteries (nickel-metal hydride and lithium-ion batteries)
16. Hybrid cars
17. OLEDs
18. Display panels (plasma screen TVs)
19. HDTV
20. The space shuttle
21. Nanotechnology
22. Flash memory
23. Voice mail
24. Modern hearing aids
25. Short Range, High Frequency Radio (Wi-Fi)
    

From here. Do you have any to contribute to this list? LOL

Professionalism

Las Vegas weatherman fired after on-air racial slur
Monday, January 17, 2005

A weekend television weatherman was fired after he made an on-air racial slur about Martin Luther King Jr., station officials said.

Rob Blair of KTNV-TV was delivering the extended forecast Saturday morning when he said: "For tomorrow, 60 degrees, Martin Luther Coon King Jr. Day, gonna see some temperatures in the mid-60s."

Read the rest here.

Eight Lives

About three months ago, the owner of our company 'BossMan' brought a calico cat up to work. He felt sorry for her hanging around his home with nothing to eat and none of his fellow neighbors taking the poor thing in. He was unable to take it in himself. (Let me say quickly that BossMan was only doing what he thought was the best for the cat and meant no ill will.)

See, our company is butted up to a fairly large neighborhood on a major 4-lane road in my city. BossMan figured the kitty 'Kitty' would quickly wander into the yard of her dreams and the owners of said yard would find Kitty to be their cat's meow.

BossMan asked all of us to help keep Kitty's food and water bowls full. And yes, BossMan provided the bowls and the food. Keeping Kitty fed was not a problem since there are quite a few 'nice pet people' working here. Kitty also had a lame right front paw from some occurrence previously in her life preventing it from walking on concrete very well. She would barely be able to set her paw down on concrete but on grass she was just fine.

After a couple of weeks of Kitty hanging out at work, we got one of our first cold snaps. Some of the girls were worried about Kitty being cold because now all of us suspected Kitty was expecting. They made somewhat of a bed for her out of an empty paper box and some old dishrags laying around in the kitchen. Needless to say, this made Kitty very happy. Kitty loved her new cozy home and you would see Kitty napping there all the time.

Kitty seemed happy to call our company her home and never looked for further habitation. Kitty seemed to especially like the inside of my car which made me almost literally growl at her a few times. On more than one occasion, Kitty was seen with her head poking out of my window. Sometimes, Kitty would be seen curled up on my hood or the top of my car. Let me say that I've been in the habit of cracking my driver's side window ever since I began working here (8+ years) so having to remind myself everyday to completely close my window was a pain. Some found Kitty's affinity for my car cute. I did not share in that feeling.

Pulling into work this morning, Kitty was laid out in the middle of the right lane of the road. I feel sorry for Kitty, I truly do.

Animal Control was quick to come out and clean up Kitty's remains. I was able to leave my window down.

Selfishness

This is amazingly selfish and abhorrent.

It upsets me when I see stories like this because the likelihood of that child enjoying any kind of long-term wonderful and caring relationship with their mother (and/or father depending on his age) is almost nil. It's sick and twisted that some women feel that their ability to overcome infertility (due to menopause!!!) somehow excuses the cold, hard, fact that their child will be unable to enjoy their presence for any qualitative and/or quantitative amount of time.

These women, and the doctors that practice this on elderly women (yes I said the word 'elderly'), are reprehensible. Just because something can be done does not mean that it should be done.

And FWIW, I feel the same way when I hear about yet another another 55+ man impregnating a woman.

Fantasy Football Standings After Round 2 & Next Week's Games

Here are the points results for Round 2:

Chuck - 12 points
Chess - 12 points
Stuck - 16 points *perfect score
Duck Hunter - 4 points
Kristin - 12 points
Roscoe - 4 points
Sparkey - 12 points
Karen - 12 points
Chris - 12 points
Linda - 12 points

Here are the points standings after Round 2:

Stuck - 22 points
Chuck - 21 points
Chess - 18 points
Kristin - 15 points
Sparkey - 15 points
Chris - 12 points
Karen - 12 points
Linda - 12 points
Duck Hunter - 7 points
Roscoe - 7 points

Congratulations to Stuck who is currently leading!

For the 3rd round of picks, you need to pick the winner of the AFC and the NFC Championship Conference Games. The games are listed on the upper right of this page. Each correct pick will get you 5 points. As a bonus, correctly guess the first team to score in each of the games and you will gain an additional 4 points per guess. Email me your picks by Thursday, January 20th, at 10:00 PM Central time.

If you're bringing up the rear right now, don't fret. You definitely have a chance to come out ahead in the standings after this round. So don't forget to make your bonus picks!

As always, take care and good luck in your picks this week!

I Love Salad Fingers!

I don't know why I've never mentioned this here. So, I was watching the first football game today and sitting here going through some of my bookmarks and cleaning them up when I stumbled over one of the greatest sites ever to grace my bookmarks.

Some of you out there may know about Salad Fingers. To those that do, aren't we the lucky ones? :) Those of you that don't know about Salad Fingers, you're in for a treat.

Warning: Salad Fingers isn't for everyone. It is, how shall I say it? Different. It's definitely not for children to see. It's kind of dark. LOL

There are 5 episodes. You should definitely watch them in order. Trust me. To watch Salad Fingers is to love Salad Fingers. Check them out below.

Salad Fingers 1: Spoons
Salad Fingers 2: Friends
Salad Fingers 3: Nettles
Salad Fingers 4: Cage
Salad Fingers 5: Picnic

Enjoy!

Oh, and congratulations to Stuck for correctly picking all of the winners of this weekend's games. He had the only perfect score this weekend. I'll get a post up either later tonight or in the morning with everybody's point totals so far.

Pink

Sheriff hopes pink handcuffs stand out in a crowd
By The Associated Press

Some Phoenix-area inmates are in the pink -- pink handcuffs.

Maricopa County sheriff's deputies began using fluorescent pink handcuffs Thursday to transport inmates.

Sheriff Joe Arpaio said he introduced the pink handcuffs because he was tired of losing them to his own deputies and other law enforcement agencies. He ordered 1,000 of the pink handcuffs, which are made in England, at $19.44 each. The regular ones cost $18.84 a pop.

"We presume nobody else has pink handcuffs, so we can spot them and know they're ours," he said

Patrol deputies will still carry the silver cuffs, which they pay for themselves.

The new cuffs will go well with the county's color scheme. Maricopa County inmates wear pink boxers and sleep on pink sheets.

From here.

Just Don't Sit Down

Toilet sprayed to stop drug users
A Swindon bar owner is spraying WD40 on toilets seats to stop customers from using them to snort cocaine.

Carl Brown who owns The Mail Coach Inn, Fleet Street, says the solvent, often used on engines and for DIY, causes nose bleeds when mixed with the drug.

Mr Brown acted after becoming aware that cocaine use was on the increase in the Wiltshire town.

"Before people started coming in here, I thought I'm going to stop it before it gets a grip," he said.

The 43-year-old said customers were searched by door staff in a bid to stop them bringing drugs into the bar.

He has also attempted to stop drug use inside by removing toilet lids.

But Mr Brown said he still found evidence that showed people were snorting cocaine from toilet seats.

The publican said the use of WD40 was a last resort and denied his actions were dangerous.

"We have to do everything we can to protect our business and create a nice, safe environment," he said.

"They (cocaine users) are loud and obnoxious.

"They are out of place, they don't fit in with the rest of the people in here."

The bar owner claimed there was not a big drugs problem at The Coach House and said the few who were snorting cocaine were now going elsewhere.

"We have seen people with bleeding noses and certain people who we suspected may have been on drugs don't come here any more," he said.

From here.

I Want To Go Here

Six Flags Makes History as it Completes the Tallest, Fastest Roller Coaster on Earth's 45-story Tower
Construction team places record-breaking steel track apex

Jackson, NJ - January 14, 2005 - Six Flags Great Adventure "topped off" (placed the apex, or top piece of steel track) the massive, 456-foot-tall tower of Kingda Ka - the tallest, fastest roller coaster on earth. An enormous crane, towering more than 500 feet in the air, hoisted the final piece of steel track into place, completing the record-breaking roller coaster tower yesterday.

Kingda Ka's tower stands 151 feet taller than the Statue of Liberty and dwarfs London's Big Ben.

Kingda Ka will shatter existing world records for speed and height, launching from 0 to 128 mph in 3.5 seconds, and reaching a maximum height of 456 feet. It is the cornerstone of the new Golden Kingdom, an 11-acre mythical jungle also featuring the Temple of the Tiger show and exhibit; Balin's Jungleland, an elaborate, new children's area; plus a plethora of exotic creatures, and new shopping and dining facilities.

See pics and video here.

Daddy, What's That?

Carmel dad objects to school bus stop next to porn shop
By Diana Belletieri
The Journal News

CARMEL — Skimpy lingerie, massage oils and sexually explicit videos are typical of adult entertainment stores. School bus stops are not.

That is why Louis Albano was shocked to find that his 6- and 9-year-old daughters were being dropped off from the Carmel schools in front of Giggles — an adult store at routes 6 and 52.

"I just thought it was completely inappropriate to have a bus stop for children in front of an adult bookstore," said Albano, a 37-year-old police officer from Carmel. "You don't know what type of clients are going into the adult store. Some guy could just be walking out after looking at this stuff and get the wrong idea."

Carmel Assistant Superintendent Ronald Wilson said this was the first complaint he had received about the bus stop, even though it has been stopping there for years. He said the district chose the location because the shopping center, which Giggles shares with a deli and a family barbershop, is one of the few safe places for children to stand along Route 6, a road that sees a constant flow of traffic throughout the day.

You can read the rest here.

Round 2 Fantasy Football Picks

There are some great games for us today and tomorrow. Just like last weekend, I will update this post with the winners and losers of the games. Have a comment about the game that's on? Wanna talk a little trash? Drop a comment here.

I don't want to wait until 3:30 today for the first game though. I wish it started at noon. Why can't the football season be longer? I would love it if football's season was as long as NASCAR's (February through November). I'm beginning to ramble.

Without further ado, here are your picks ladies and gents. Good luck to all of you! (Yes, even you Chuck.)

Roscoe
Pittsburgh Steelers *winner
St. Louis Rams *loser
Minnesota Vikings *loser
Indianapolis Colts *loser

Chuck
Pittsburgh Steelers *winner
Atlanta Falcons *winner
Philadelphia Eagles *winner
Indianapolis Colts *loser

Chess
Pittsburgh Steelers *winner
Atlanta Falcons *winner
Philadelphia Eagles *winner
Indianapolis Colts *loser

Duck Hunter
New York Jets *loser
Atlanta Falcons *winner
Minnesota Vikings *loser
Indianapolis Colts *loser

Chris
Pittsburgh Steelers *winner
Atlanta Falcons *winner
Minnesota Vikings *loser
New England Patriots *winner

Linda
Pittsburgh Steelers *winner
Atlanta Falcons *winner
Philadelphia Eagles *winner
Indianapolis Colts *loser

Kristin
Pittsburgh Steelers *winner
St. Louis Rams *loser
Philadelphia Eagles *winner
New England Patriots *winner

Karen
Pittsburgh Steelers *winner
St. Louis Rams *loser
Philadelphia Eagles *winner
New England Patriots *winner

Sparkey
Pittsburgh Steelers *winner
St. Louis Rams *loser
Philadelphia Eagles *winner
New England Patriots *winner

Stuck
Pittsburgh Steelers *winner
Atlanta Falcons *winner
Philadelphia Eagles *winner
New England Patriots *winner

* I'm sorry Stuck for missing your picks in the first version of this post. I'm a doofus. Please forgive me. :)

Update - Moon Of The Moss

Here's an update to this post.

Star implies he won't stop at pretend moon
ESPN.com news services

EDEN PRAIRIE, Minn. -- Randy Moss trudged out to his truck in the subzero cold, with a huge, black hooded sweat shirt covering almost his entire face. All that was showing was a carefree smile.

In his usual flippant manner, Moss showed no remorse for his latest misdeed.

Minnesota's controversial wide receiver was fined $10,000 Thursday by the NFL for pretending to pull down his pants and moon the Green Bay crowd during a playoff win last weekend.

"Ain't nothing but 10 grand. What's 10 grand, to me?" said Moss, whose salary this season is $5.75 million. He then jokingly suggested he might perform a more vulgar celebration next time.

KARE-TV of Minneapolis recorded the exchange between Moss and reporters outside the Vikings' practice facility.

Reporter: "Write the check yet, Randy?"

Moss: "When you're rich you don't write checks."

Reporter: "If you don't write checks, how do you pay these guys?"

Moss: "Straight cash, homey."

Reporter: "Randy, are you upset about the fine?"

Moss: "No, cause it ain't [expletive]. Ain't nothing but 10 grand. What's 10 grand to me? Ain't [expletive] … Next time I might shake my [expletive]."

You can read the rest here.

Update - The Prince And His Costume

Here's an update to this post.

Prince 'orders Harry to Auschwitz'

LONDON, England (Reuters) -- Britain's Prince Charles has ordered his son Harry to visit Auschwitz after he caused outrage around the world by wearing a Nazi uniform to a party, the Sun newspaper reported on Friday.

The paper said heir-to-the-throne Charles was "incandescent with rage" with the 20-year-old grandson of Queen Elizabeth and wants him to make a private trip to the concentration camp to learn more about the Holocaust.

Read the rest here.

And on a side note, have you ever woken up in the morning and just about everything started going to hell as soon as your eyelids opened? I'm having one of those days. With the exception of two things this morning, this day is turning into one of my crappiest days in a long time. And I feel like dog poo.

Indecent Rubbing

'Lewd rubbing' shuts Paris statue

Pere Lachaise cemetery in Paris has fenced off a famous tomb to prevent lewd acts being performed on a statue.

The effigy of 19th Century journalist known as Victor Noir has long been popular with women visitors.

This is partly due to his reputation as a romantic figure, and partly because of the effigy's design.

Officials concerned about damage to the icon's groin area have erected a fence around the grave, and a sign prohibiting indecent rubbing.

See a pic of the statue and read the rest of the article here.

Send The Students A Message

Speaker tells Palo Alto students that stripping can be lucrative
Bilen Mesfin, Associated Press Writer

School officials in Palo Alto are reconsidering their use of a popular speaker for an annual career day after he advised middle school students that they could earn a good living as strip dancers.

William Fried told eighth-graders at Jane Lathrop Stanford Middle School that stripping and exotic dancing could be lucrative career moves for girls, offering as much as $250,000 or more per year, depending on their bust size.

"It's sick, but it's true," Fried, president of Foster City's Precision Selling, a management consulting firm, told The Associated Press. "The truth of the matter is you can earn a tremendous amount of money as an exotic dancer, if that's your desire."

The school has asked Fried to give his 55-minute presentation, "The Secret of a Happy Life," for the past three years.

A tip sheet he distributes to students includes a list of 140 potential careers and areas of interest they can consider pursuing. Along with professions as accounting and nursing, the list offers such nontraditional suggestions as exotic dancing, stripping and acting as a spiritual medium.

You can read the rest here.

Shaft, Stretch, and Dick

I couldn't make this up if I wanted to.

Threesome promotes safe sex
Cartoon condoms battle spread of AIDS with help from local director, students
By KATHLEEN HARRIS, Parliamentary Bureau

A trio of made-in-Canada cartoon condoms is helping battle the global spread of AIDS. The animated rubbers -- named Shaft, Stretch and Dick -- are featured in a series of public service announcements called The Three Amigos, officially launched at the United Nations this week.

Firdaus Kharas, the Ottawa-based producer and director of the project, said the volunteer-driven initiative uses humour to tackle the deadly disease head-on. The Canadian government kicked in $100,000 to help distribute the tapes in AIDS-ravaged South Africa, where segments have aired to roaring applause.

'MEMORABLE' SPOTS

"What we're trying to do is create something that's memorable and ... gets the message across that if you're going to have sex, then for heaven's sake, use a condom," Kharas said.

The cartoon mates use comic relief to send a serious message about preventing HIV/AIDS. In one clip, they play soccer but "can't score" without protection. In another, they're astronauts who can't "blast off" without a condom.

Read the rest here.

This Can't Be True

Janet Jackson reportedly wears a penis around her neck
January 13, 2005, 12:05:24

Janet Jackson reportedly wears a penis around her neck.

The diamond-encrusted black "family jewel" - which, when pulled, is said to 'get excited' is said to be the singer's favourite piece of jewellery.

Recently named 'Most Chic Girl of The Week' by a US teen magazine, Jackson reportedly paid $18,000 at a West Hollywood jeweller for the penis charm.

From here.

Someone, please tell me this is false. It has to be. Right?

*Reminder - Football Picks Due Tonight

Ladies and gentlemen, don't forget to email me your picks for ESSFingers' Fantasy Football. I need to have them in my inbox before 10:00 PM Central time tonight.

Again, all you have to do for this round is predict the winners of the following games. Each winning pick is worth 4 points this time around.

Saturday's games
New York Jets at Pittsburgh Steelers
St. Louis Rams at Atlanta Falcons

Sunday's games
Minnesota Vikings at Philadelphia Eagles
Indianapolis Colts at New England Patriots


If you didn't make your picks in the first round, it's not too late to start playing.

Chuck is currently in the lead while Chess and Stuck are tied for second place just three points back.

Good luck everybody! May each one of you kick Chuck's butt this time.

j/k Chuck! :)

Pretty Fly For A Dance Fly

Fake Love Tokens Fool Flies
By Jennifer Viegas

Jan. 11, 2005 — Females among many insects and animals, including humans, enjoy receiving gifts during courtship, but a new study on flies reveals that males can woo their intendeds with worthless, fake love tokens, even if such cheating is otherwise undocumented for the species.

By the time the female fly realizes her lover is a cheapskate and beats him off with her wings, the male already has mated with her and leaves with his faux present to find another partner.

The finding, published in the new issue of Current Biology, suggests that male cheaters throughout the animal kingdom easily can fool present-loving females into affairs that could yield offspring carrying the male's genes.

Continue reading here.

This article is a 'must read'. It's a very intriguing article and I found myself cracking up while reading it.

The Prince And His Costume

Prince Harry sorry for Nazi costume
Wednesday, January 12, 2005

LONDON -- The grandson of the Queen apologized Wednesday night after a tabloid printed a picture of him wearing a Nazi soldier's uniform to a fancy dress party.

Prince Harry, 20, the second son of Prince Charles, was shown in early editions of Thursday's issue of the Sun, clutching a cigarette and a drink and wearing a swastika armband.

In a statement, the prince said he was "very sorry if I caused any offence or embarrassment to anyone."

"It was a poor choice of costume and I apologize."

From here.

And another article with more info: Harry 'should visit Auschwitz'

The Truth Is That You Suck

Ashlee Simpson Shrugs Off Orange Bowl Booing

Ashlee Simpson had wanted to start 2005 with a clean slate, but as her first appearance of the new year demonstrated, not everyone is as eager to put her "SNL" snafu behind her as she is. You'd think being booed in such a public forum as the Orange Bowl would be traumatic, but the singer/actress insists she's unfazed.

"There was some booing that went on after the halftime show was finished," she said. "If they didn't like the performance, and that's what it was about, then sorry to them."

Some have said Simpson was booed at Miami's Pro Player Stadium because the rowdy crowd of 72,000 wasn't the same age bracket as Simpson's teen audience. Others have said it was payback for "SNL," for her being a bad sport, walking off the stage and later blaming her band for a miscue (see "Ashlee Simpson's 'SNL' Excuse Bolstered By Rehearsal Tape"). Still others have complained that she just sounded bad. But Simpson has a few theories herself about why boos were heard following the closing line of her song "La La," "I want to hear you scream!"

Continued here.

Once Again - Irony

Amish teen electrocuted by power line in buggy wheel
Wednesday, January 12, 2005 Posted: 11:13 AM EST (1613 GMT)

CHARDON, Ohio (AP) -- A 17-year-old Amish boy was electrocuted trying to remove a power line that got tangled in his horse-drawn buggy's wheels, authorities said.

The boy drove over a power line Tuesday that had sagged down within a foot of the road after separating from a pole, authorities said.

The line got stuck in the wheels and stopped the buggy. The boy got out and grabbed the 4,800-volt line in an attempt to remove it from the wheels, the Geauga County Sheriff's office said. He died at the scene.

The boy's name was not released because his family had not all been notified, officials said.

The Amish are a deeply religious group who shun modern conveniences such as electricity, telephones and car ownership. About 40,000 Amish live in Ohio, the most of any state.

The boy was traveling south on a road near Geauga-Trumbull County line in northeast Ohio, about 25 miles east of Cleveland.

The horse pulling the buggy was not injured.

From here.

Your Home In The Grave

Rodeo in Salem gets unexpected song rendition
A man purportedly from Kazakhstan launched into a diatribe instead of "The Star-Spangled Banner."
By Laurence Hammack

No one knows for sure who he was, that Middle Eastern man in an American flag shirt and a cowboy hat who was supposed to sing the national anthem at a rodeo Friday night in the Salem Civic Center.

But he sure shook up this town before leaving in a hurry.

Introduced as Boraq Sagdiyev from Kazakhstan, he was said to be an immigrant touring America. A film crew was with him, doing some sort of documentary. And he wanted to sing "The Star-Spangled Banner" to show his appreciation, the announcer told the crowd.

Speaking in broken English, the mysterious man first told the decidedly pro-American crowd - it was a rodeo, of all things, in Salem, of all places - that he supported the war on terrorism.

"I hope you kill every man, woman and child in Iraq, down to the lizards," he said, according to Brett Sharp of Star Country WSLC, who was also on stage that night as a media sponsor of the rodeo.

An uneasy murmur ran through the crowd.

"And may George W. Bush drink the blood of every man, woman and child in Iraq," he continued, according to Robynn Jaymes, who co-hosts a morning radio show with Sharp and was also among the stunned observers.

You can read the rest here.

Ouch!

Ex Rips Off Man's Tackle
By Andy Russell

A JILTED girl tore off her ex-boyfriend's testicle with her bare hands - then popped it in her mouth, a court heard yesterday.

Amanda Monti, 24, grabbed Jeffrey Jones, 37, by the genitals in a rage after he refused to have sex.

She ripped off his left testicle leaving him in "excruciating pain". Monti, just 5ft 2in, then put it in her mouth to hide it.

The testicle was later found by a pal of Mr Jones who handed it back, saying: "That's yours." Doctors were unable to re-attach it.

The victim told Liverpool Crown Court how he had earlier ended their relationship but Monti refused to accept it.

After a party at his home in Netherton, she wanted sex but he was not interested. There was a struggle and she ripped off his shorts leaving him in his pants.

He said: "She grabbed my genitals and pulled hard. I noticed my underpants had come off and I was in excruciating pain."

Monti, of Birkenhead, admitted unlawful wounding but said she had little memory of what happened. She will be sentenced later.

From here.

My Celebrity Deathpool 2005

1. Boris Yeltsin
2. Pope John Paul II
3. John Goodman
4. Margaret Thatcher
5. Hulk Hogan
6. Kurt Loder
7. Elton John
8. Bea Arthur
9. Fidel Castro
10. James Garner
11. Bob Dylan
12. Jimmy Carter
13. Woody Allen
14. Ricky Williams
15. Janet Reno
16. Paris Hilton
17. Stephen King
18. Eddie Vedder
19. Diana Ross
20. Angela Lansbury
21. Steve Irwin
22. Barbara Bush
23. Lily Tomlin
24. Meryl Streep
25. James Caan

Let's Not Get Freaky

Principal cracks down on 'freak dancing'
Monday, January 10, 2005 Posted: 1:00 PM EST (1800 GMT)

LEMOORE, California (AP) -- Fed up with students' racy moves, a principal has taken the unusual step of canceling the rest of this year's school dances.

Principal Jim Bennett of Lemoore Union High School said he warned students at a winter formal dance last month to either quit dirty dancing or face the possibility of not dancing at all.

But he said the students continued "freak dancing," a form of sexually suggestive dancing that involves grinding the hips and pelvic area.

The ban on dances includes the school's Sadie Hawkins dance in February and the junior and senior proms in the spring, but Bennett said they could be rescheduled if students modify their behavior.

"It's really up to the kids at this point. They have to take some responsibility," Bennett said.

Organizers of the Sadie Hawkins dance, a fund-raiser for the school's FFA Organization branch, formerly Future Farmers of America, are working with Bennett to come up with a series of regulations, which could allow that dance to go on.

One idea is to let students sign a form stating that raunchy dancing will get them kicked out.

Students hope similar regulations could lead to the reinstatement of other dances, particularly the prom.

"Some students save up all year to buy a dress or rent a tuxedo and buy flowers for the prom," said student body president Zohra Lakhani, a 17-year-old senior. "To crush everyone's dreams, it's not fair."

From here.

Moon Of The Moss

League spokesman points to 'poor taste' rule
Associated Press

NEW YORK -- Randy Moss is almost sure to be fined for pretending to moon fans in Green Bay during a playoff win, according to NFL rules.

The league is looking into the star receiver's antics in the Minnesota Vikings' 31-17 win over the Packers on Sunday and will announce its ruling later this week.

When asked for a reaction to the touchdown celebration Sunday night, an NFL spokesman told ESPN's Chris Mortensen: "Randy Moss can expect to be hearing from us."

When asked by AP whether the oft-fined Moss would be penalized again, a league spokesman recited NFL rules mandating discipline for "obscene gestures or other actions construed as being in poor taste."

A fine for the first offense under those guidelines is $5,000. Moss has not previously been fined for such action, but paid a $25,000 penalty in 1999 for squirting an official with a water bottle.

In the last year, the NFL has dealt with a couple of highly publicized situations that many fans found objectionable. There was the Janet Jackson breast-baring episode during the halftime show of the Super Bowl in February and the steamy "Monday Night Football" introduction this season featuring Philadelphia receiver Terrell Owens and "Desperate Housewives" star Nicollette Sheridan.

On Sunday, Moss caught a touchdown pass in the fourth quarter and headed toward the goalpost. He then turned his back to the Lambeau Field crowd, bent over and pantomimed pulling down his pants.

"Just having a little fun with the boys," Moss told a Fox reporter as he left the field. "I hope I don't get in trouble by it, but if I do I'll take the heat."

Read the rest here.

Hush

Columbia House Plans Porn Club
By John Motavalli

Columbia House, famous for its "12 CDs for a penny" record clubs, will launch its own adult video club with Playboy Entertainment at the end of this month. The service, called Hush, will sell pornography through direct mail and a Web site.

While 50-year-old Columbia House is eager to cash in on the $12 billion porn business, officials are pretty hush hush about Hush.

"This will be a separate subsidiary," said Jim Litwak, senior vice president of marketing at Columbia House. "It will be completely separate from Columbia House, and will not be marketed to current members. We are not using Columbia House at all, and are not talking to existing members; this is a separate business and deal."

Columbia House, the nation's largest direct distributor of DVDs and home video, will handle distribution, while Playboy, which has an adult direct-mail list "in the millions," according to Litwak, will handle marketing.

You can read the rest here.

I wonder how many will get the introductory DVDs and never pay for the S/H??? LOL

The Breakup Box

The Breakup Box

Throw all of your bf/gf/wife/husband/lover's crap in there and send it to them. Interesting idea for the meek.

The Sex Rock

Hollywood hero rings in some sexy changes

Los Angeles - Nicolas Cage has had a special gemstone set into his wedding ring to improve his sex life.

The National Treasure star - who is married to 19-year-old Alice Kim - claims the mystical carnelian rock has worked wonders for his libido since he began wearing it.

He said: "It's good for my sex life. I'm very much into stones."

The amber gem is said to have the power to stimulate the wearer's blood flow, as well as providing calming benefits.

Meanwhile, Cage has insisted his marriage to Alice is the "one" after two unsuccessful unions.

The 40-year-old star previously tied the knot with Lisa Marie Presley - the daughter of legendary singer Elvis Presley - and Hollywood actress Patricia Arquette. Both relationships ending swiftly in divorce.

However, Cage insists that in Alice - a former sushi waitress who he married seven months ago - he has now found the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

He said recently: "This is the one." - Bang Showbiz

From here.

Yeah right.

Fantasy Football Standings Round 1 & Next Week's Games

Well folks, the games this weekend were rather interesting. The NFC games were nail-biters and the AFC games were blowouts. Who would have thought that Denver would lose as bad as they did? And Green Bay? Poor Packers fans. They didn't see Minnesota coming. Perhaps the Pack were a little too cocky?

Anyways, here are the points standings for Round 1:

Chuck - 9 points
Chess - 6 points
Stuck - 6 points
Duck Hunter - 3 points
Kristin - 3 points
Roscoe - 3 points
Sparkey - 3 points


For this next round of picks, again just pick the winner of the following 4 games. Each winning pick is worth 4 points this week and will be added to your Round 1 total. Don't forget to email your picks to me instead of posting them here. Your picks are due by Thursday, January 13th, 10:00 PM Central time.

Saturday's games
New York Jets at Pittsburgh Steelers
St. Louis Rams at Atlanta Falcons

Sunday's games
Minnesota Vikings at Philadelphia Eagles
Indianapolis Colts at New England Patriots


If you missed making your picks for the first round, it's definitely not too late for you to compete and kick some major booty. See the rules posted in the upper right if you're interested. Good luck everybody!

24

I can't wait! I want it now!

If you've never watched it before, try it out tonight. If you're a '24' lover like me, let me know!


Update - Tonight's shows were super freaking fantastic! I can't wait for the next 2 episodes tomorrow night. I'm in Keifer heaven. Ahhhh.

Dear Sparkey

That contest you have going on, Guess Which Blogger This Body Part Belongs To, is quite intriguing.

Perhaps more of our fellow bloggers might be inspired to start contests of their own as well? Between my football game and your body part game, our little blogger clique is off to a rather twisted start.

Take care,
ESSF


Everybody go play Sparkey's game!

Fastcar Baby

Toot!

Walking Catfish

Walking catfish found in South Florida is let off the hook
By Neil Santaniello

The walking catfish sent unsettling ripples through Florida after surfacing on a north Broward County angler's hook in 1967.

The discovery of that exotic fish, capable of undulating briefly over land with its stiffened pectoral fins and a body-rocking motion, spurred projections that the species would dominate, and perhaps seriously harm, native Florida fish populations.

Thirty-seven years later, that Frankenfish fear has yet to pan out, said Paul Shafland, director of the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission's Non-Native Fish Research Lab in Boca Raton.

"It's certainly not had any of the catastrophic effects originally associated with its find in Florida," he said. "However we still consider it problematic. We wish it weren't here."

The walking catfish, Clarias batrachus, breathes air, and can make short migrations across land, which it sometimes does after rains leave standing water and soggy landscapes. While other exotic fish live sub-surface lives, the walking catfish's land locomotion brought it headlines.

Read the rest here.

Fvck You Carlos Beltran!

You sorry piece of sh*t!

Piece of Sh*t Beltran Article

Round 1 Fantasy Football Picks

Good luck everybody! Here are your picks:

Sparkey
St. Louis Rams *winner
San Diego Chargers *loser
Denver Broncos *loser
Green Bay Packers *loser

Duck Hunter
Seattle Seahawks *loser
New York Jets *winner
Denver Broncos *loser
Green Bay Packers *loser

Roscoe
Seattle Seahawks *loser
San Diego Chargers *loser
Indianapolis Colts *winner
Green Bay Packers *loser

Stuck
Seattle Seahawks *loser
New York Jets *winner
Indianapolis Colts *winner
Green Bay Packers *loser

Chuck
St. Louis Rams *winner
New York Jets *winner
Indianapolis Colts *winner
Green Bay Packers *loser

Kristin
St. Louis Rams *winner
San Diego Chargers *loser
Denver Broncos *loser
Green Bay Packers *loser

Chess
St. Louis Rams *winner
San Diego Chargers *loser
Indianapolis Colts *winner
Green Bay Packers *loser

Masturbation & Rape

Masturbating boys cause a stir
07/01/2005

Tzaneen - Sexily-dressed women in a small Limpopo town have fallen prey to a group of teenage street kids that masturbate in public whenever they see them.

One woman, 24-year-old Gloria Shingange, had an embarrassing moment on Thursday when the boys drooled over her at the Tzaneen Mall because she was wearing a mini-skirt.

"They followed me around the mall with their hands inside their trousers. I walked out of the mall and when I stopped at the robot next to the Tzaneen police station they shouted saying I was attractive," Shingage said.

She said the boys took out their penises and started masturbating in full view of everyone while groaning in ecstasy.

Oh, it gets better...

The police allegedly refused to open a case, claiming that the street kids didn't commit any offence because they didn't touch her.

"They told me straight in the face that they were not taking my complaint because I wasn't raped," said Shingange.

And even better...

Vegetable vendor Mthavini Khoza said she condoned the boys' action.

"These boys are doing the right thing because their actions are likely to reduce the tendencies of wearing 3cm (sic) skirts in public and embarrass every woman," she said.

"I wish they rape them one day so they may start respecting their bodies," Khoza said.

One of the boys, a 14-year-old whose name cannot be revealed because of his age, had no qualms to speak about the incident.

"I feel very happy after masturbating next to a woman with beautiful legs and wearing see-through clothes," the boy said.

"There is no girl out there who wants a filthy glue-sniffing street kid so the only way to relieve our sexual appetite is to masturbate," he explained.

From here

I Must Be Sick

I'm listening to Michael Jackson's 'Beat It' on the radio and I'm enjoying it.

Ahhhh, reminds me of some good days.

Wait, I need to snap out of it!

Do I need help?

I still have that Thriller album around here somewhere...

Breaking News! Brad Pitt Is Available Again!!!!!

Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston Separate

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Hollywood power couple Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston have separated after 4 1/2 years of marriage but remain "committed and caring friends," the couple said on Friday.

"We would like to announce that after seven years together we have decided to formally separate," Pitt and Aniston, who first met on a dinner date in 1998, said in a joint statement initially published by People magazine on its Web site.

"For those who follow these sorts of things, we would like to explain that our separation is not the result of any of the speculation reported by the tabloid media," the statement said.

"This decision is a result of much thoughtful consideration. We happily remain committed and caring friends with great love and admiration for one another. We ask in advance for your kindness and sensitivity in the coming months."

Pitt, 41, current starring in the big-screen crime caper "Ocean's Twelve" and former "Friends" star Aniston, 35, were married in a lavish, celebrity-studded wedding in the seaside California resort of Malibu in July 2000.

From here.

Move over Jen!

Now excuse me, I have to go pack. *wink

I'm coming Brad!

Very Sad

Sri Lankan Teenager Raped by Rescuer
Fri Jan 7, 1:47 PM ET
By SHIMALI SENANAYAKE, Associated Press Writer

GALLE, Sri Lanka - She survived the tsunami, only to suffer the brutality of her rescuer.

On a pilgrimage to a temple, the 18-year-old and her family stopped for a picnic by the beach. That's when the tsunami struck.

Flailing in the water, the teenager heard a voice. "He told me to grab his hand, that he will save me," she said.

She and the stranger were swept into a muddy river. When they reached a bank, he pushed her into a bed of brambles and raped her.

"I screamed and told him not to hurt me," the shy teenager told The Associated Press. "He put his hands around my neck and told me that even if he kills me right there, no one will know."

You can read the rest here.

And Another Update On Mr. Pelloat

For those of you that are not familiar with the story, just search my blog for Mr. Pelloat and you'll be up-to-date.

Former Newton High Band Director Indicted on 2 New Charges
(Air Date: 1/7/2005)

A former Newton High School band director, accused of sexually assaulting dozens of his students, was indicted on two new charges today by a Newton County Grand Jury. James Allen Pelloat is still in jail tonight, after being arrested back in November when a student came forward with information for police.

Friday, Pelloat was indicted on one charge of aggravated sexual assault of a child, a first degree felony. He was also indicted on one count of improper relationship between educator and student. This comes on top of 4 prior indictements, 2 for sexual assault of a child and 2 other improper relationships between educator and student.

The Newton County District Attorney says the new improper relationship indictement involves a new male victim from Newton County. Pelloat`s attorney and the D-A say a plea agreement is a possibility in this case.

From here.

Beavis & Butthead

Census Lists Renamed Lake As 'Butthead'

LAKE STEVENS, Wash. - Someone in the Census Bureau may be watching a little too much MTV. Bevis Lake, a 5.7-acre body of water in a forested area about 25 miles northeast of Seattle, is now appearing in Bureau records with a different name: Butthead Lake.
Those two names — Bevis and Butthead — are almost identical to the 1990s MTV cartoon show "Beavis and Butt-head," which featured a pair of slacker teenagers who watch music videos and make bad jokes.

Someone at the Census Bureau must have gotten bored and made a joke out of naming the lake, said Ken Brown, a land surveyor with the state Department of Natural Resources.

"It's got to be," he said.

It's not unusual for small lakes in out-of-the-way places to have different names because of variations in county, state or other official records, but there are no such indications in this case, Brown said.

"That means someone is playing a joke, I think," Brown said.

Ahhhh, Beavis & Butthead bring back such memories. I absolutely loved that show! I even have their 'Best Of' DVD set. I might have to pop one of those babies in real soon...

1st Nominee For 'Dumbass Of 2005'

Driver Arrested Moments After Judge Orders Him Not To Drive

A man in Melbourne, Fla., faces several charges Thursday after he crashed his car minutes after a judge ordered him not to drive again, according to a Local 6 News report.

Joshua Gowins (pictured, left) had his license revoked Wednesday for fleeing from police. But moments after he left the courthouse, officers pulled him over for speeding.

Police said Gowins sped away from police, lost control and hit another car. Gowins' car landed in a ditch after the crash.

The driver of the car Gowins hit was not injured in the crash.

From here.

You must go there to check out the pic of the dumbass himself! LOL


Also, thanks to all 7 you who sent your football picks in for the 2005 ESSFingers' Fantasy Football Game. Your picks and results will be posted Sunday after the games. Good luck!

Don't Forget

If you haven't already emailed me your football picks, hurry up! LOL

You only have a little more than 2 hours left.

Another Day In The Life Of A...

Trooper Delivers Baby At Fla. Rest Stop
Baby Boy, Mom In Good Health

JASPER, Fla. -- A Florida Highway Patrol trooper helped a Georgia woman give birth to a son in a Florida Welcome Center parking lot.

Cpl. Phil Sumner was approached at 5:20 p.m. Tuesday by someone who told him a woman was in labor at the welcome center on Interstate 75, Lt. Mike Burroughs said.

Sumner instructed bystanders to call 911, but Selena E. Carter, 22, of Valdosta, Ga., told Sumner that she couldn't wait for an ambulance, Burroughs said.

It was the first time in his 16 years on the job that Sumner had delivered a baby, but it was Carter's fourth child.

The baby boy was named T.J. Carter and both mother and baby were transported to South Georgia Medical Center in good health, Burroughs said.

The baby's father serves in the U.S. Army. The center is about eight miles south of the Georgia border.

From here.

This Really Ticks Me Off

Andrea Yates' conviction thrown out
By Ruth Rendon

The Texas First Court of Appeals threw out today the capital murder conviction of Clear Lake mom Andrea Yates, who's been serving a life sentence for drowning her children in a bathtub.

The three-member appeals court granted Yates’ motion to have her conviction reversed because, among other things, the state’s expert psychiatric witness testified that Yates had patterned her actions after a Law & Order television episode that never existed. In ordering a new trial, the appellate court said the trial judge erred in not granting a mistrial once it was learned that testimony of Dr. Park Dietz was false.

“It’s unbelievable,” defense attorney George Parnham said. “I’m stunned, unbelievably happy.”

Prosecutors said they plan to file a motion for a rehearing and if unsuccessful, appeal to the Texas Court of Criminal Appeals.

You can read the rest here.

It's time for me to go lay down on the couch, curl up in my big fleece blanket, and try to nap. I didn't go to work today because my tummy's giving me major problems.

It's the first day I've missed work in about 10 months. :(

Come On Everybody

I've got 3 people.

If this was a threesome (I'm not participating...I'm only watching this time) it would be perfect but alas, it's not a threesome I'm talking about.

It's easy (again, I'm not referring to myself!).

Just pick the winners of these football games this week:

St. Louis Rams vs. Seattle Seahawks

New York Jets vs. San Diego Chargers

Denver Broncos vs. Indianapolis Colts

Minnesota Vikings vs. Green Bay Packers

And then email them to me at ESSFingers(at)gmail(dot)com.

That's all you have to do. Of all of the people reading my blog, surely you can do this for poor little old ESSFingers. (Is making you feel guilty working yet?)

If you have a blog tell me what blog it is and you get free publicity.

You have a little under 24 hours to get your picks in to me. (See RULES here.)

There's no prize yet, except for notoriety, but maybe I can work something out.

How about a phone call from me? We could talk about anything...LOL.

*wink

Update 11:25PM - I have two more lucky souls. A couple more and we'll have a full-blown orgy! Bwahahahaha!

Gag Me With A Spoon

NBC's 'Fear Factor' Sued for Rat-Eating Episode

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Watching contestants eat dead rats on NBC's gross-out stunt show "Fear Factor" so disgusted a Cleveland man that he has sued NBC for $2.5 million, saying he could not stomach what he saw.

In a handwritten four-page lawsuit filed in federal court in Cleveland on Tuesday, paralegal Austin Aitken said, "To have the individuals on the show eat (yes) and drink dead rats was crazy and from a viewer's point of view made me throw-up as well an another in the house at the same time."

His suit added, "NBC is sending the wrong message to its TV watchers that cash can make or have people do just about anything beyond reasoning (sic) and in most cases against their will."

He said the show caused his blood pressure to rise so high that he became dizzy and light-headed, and when he ran away to his room, he bumped his head into the doorway.

In a brief telephone interview with Reuters, Aitken said, "I am not at liberty to discuss the complaint unless it is a paid-interview situation."

A spokesman for "Fear Factor" said the show would have no comment until it sees a copy of the complaint. The spokesman said the program did feature an rat-eating scene in New York's Times Square on Nov. 8.

Over the years, contestants on the program have eaten some weird things, including ground-up spiders and live worms.

From here.

Gimme a break!

Where'd You Go This Time?

Marine Charged With Desertion Disappears

RALEIGH, N.C. — Cpl. Wassef Ali Hassoun, the Marine who was once thought kidnapped in Iraq only to be charged later with desertion, has disappeared, Marine officials announced Wednesday.

Hassoun had been on leave with his family in West Jordan, Utah, when he was scheduled to return to Camp Lejeune on Tuesday, military officials told FOX News. Hassoun's family said they do not know his whereabouts, and the military began notifying civilian law enforcement of his fugitive status.

The U.S. Marine Corps again listed Hassoun as a deserter on Wednesday. He had been charged in December with unauthorized leave following a five-month probe into his June disappearance from a U.S. military camp in Iraq.

You can read the rest here.

Durex Extra Sensitive Lubricated Latex Is #1

Condom testing reveals best brands
Planned Parenthood condom performs worst

(Reuters) -- The consumers group best known for rating cars and washing machines has turned its testing prowess to condoms to find out which ones measure up best and how other birth control methods compare.

The nonprofit Consumers Union says in a new guide to contraception that the seven top types of condom they studied did not burst despite vigorous testing, and all models met international standards.

But results showed that the top brand, able to take the most punishment, was the Durex Extra Sensitive Lubricated Latex, according to the report.

Other top-performers include the Durex Performax Lubricated, Lifestyles Classic Collection Ultra Sensitive Lubricated and TheyFit Lubricated.

A melon-colored model distributed by Planned Parenthood performed the worst, bursting during a test in which the latex condoms were filled with air.

You can read the rest and see a demonstration of each brand in real life (j/k) here.

Zebras

Warming up before the big game.
 

Heylo Mr. Ossifer

Doctors astounded: drunken man survives astronomical blood-alcohol level
Canadian Press
January 4, 2005

SOFIA, Bulgaria (AP) - Incredulous doctors made five blood tests on a drunken man to confirm he had a blood-alcohol content of 0.914, far above the usual life-threatening range, police and doctors said Tuesday.

The 67-year old man, whose name was not released, was hospitalized Dec. 20, when a car knocked him down on a street in the southern Bulgarian city of Plovdiv.

A breath test showed an incredibly high blood alcohol level, but police officers thought the result was inaccurate because the man was conscious and talked with them, said Col. Angel Rangelov, head of police in Plovdiv.

Laboratory analysis of five subsequent blood samples taken the same day confirmed that the man had had a blood-alcohol level of 0.914, Rangelov said. A blood-alcohol level of 0.55 is usually considered life threatening.

The man was reported in stable condition after treatment for head injuries.

From here.

Some Secret Base

Tsunami spares secret U.S. base
Geography, planning minimized damage

A deep underwater trench, a 30-year-old military decision and a tsunami warning saved one of America’s most secret bases from any significant damage during last week’s tsunami, say U.S. officials.

Diego Garcia, a 10-square-mile British island leased to the U.S. Navy, sits in the middle of the Indian Ocean, just south of the hard-hit Maldives. From the tiny atoll, the United States monitors all manner of communications from around the Middle East, East Africa and southern Asia, whether Indian or Pakistani nuclear intentions or terrorist travels.

The island also has an airfield capable of handling nuclear bombers and a seaport where supplies for much of the region are stored aboard pre-positioning ships. Bombers launched from Diego Garcia flew missions over Iraq in Desert Storm in 1990-91 and in Operation Iraqi Freedom in 2003.

Read the rest and see pictures here.

Risky Business

Fewer women using birth control
Experts see troubling spike in new numbers
By Ceci Connolly

At a time when the medical community has been heartened by a decline in risky sexual behavior by teenagers, a different problem has crept up: More adult women are forgoing birth control, a trend that has experts puzzled -- and alarmed about a potential rise in unintended pregnancies.

Read the rest here.

Full House

In a photo released by Walt Disney World, Mary-Kate, left, and Ashley Olsen are seen with actor John Stamos, Sunday, Jan. 2, 2005, at Walt Disney World Resort in Lake Buena Vista, Fla. The three co-stars of the popular 1980s and 1990s sitcom 'Full House' are on vacation at Disney World. (AP Photo/Walt Disney World, Mark Ashman) 

From here.

Well, I guess he's needing some action since Rebecca Romijn dumped him. LOL

Fvck Off And Die

F-word on computer game
By Tony Whitfield

A girl of seven found the words "F*** off and die" on her Disney computer game.

Beki Stewart pointed out the "naughty word" to dad Mark on the opening credits of Monsters, Inc - based on the hit kids' film.

Mark, 32, had splashed out £200 on the game and two GameBoy machines to play it on for Beki and her brother Jayms, four.

The Disney/Pixar game is aimed at children aged three and over.

Mark said: "I am disgusted. This was their big Christmas present. Beki was playing and said, 'Daddy, there is a swear word.' I said there couldn't be because it was a Monsters, Inc game.

"But she said, 'Daddy, it is the F-word'. She was upset because she did not expect to see it.

"This game is for kids. If it was for adults you might expect such language. But I don't say this word in front of my daughter - and I don't expect Disney games to contain it either."

The phrase was included in the introductory text that runs as the computer game boots up.

Civil servant Mark, of North Shields, North Tyneside, added: "Surely Disney test their games or see what goes out in their name."

Disney was unavailable for comment last night.

From here.

Die Blockbuster! Die!

Blockbuster's die-off is no tearjerker
By Al Lewis

It's quite an epic, watching Blockbuster die.

The nation's No. 1 video chain hopes to prolong its life with a hostile bid for the No. 2 video-store chain, Hollywood Entertainment. But make no mistake - it's dying. The whole video- store industry is dying, too. Meanwhile some high-rolling financiers are picking over the corpses.

Renegade capitalist Carl Icahn has emerged as the largest investor in both Texas-based Blockbuster and Oregon- based Hollywood. Icahn is trying to put the chains together in a $1 billion deal. He'll most likely try to turn a fast buck with synergies, economies of scale, cost- cutting, restructurings, refinancings and perhaps a little bit of that old-time merger accounting.

Before Icahn's move, Leonard Green & Partners, a storied California-based investment group, bid for Hollywood. The firm, however, lowered its offer after having a close look at the books.

Alabama-based Movie Gallery, the No. 3 chain, also made an offer for Hollywood. So now, there's a testy little auction - replete with hostile takeover threats - making regular headlines.

The truth is that combining Hollywood with any other video-store chain is like handcuffing two drunks together. They could prop up each other for a while, but they are bound to stumble.

Hehehehehe. You can read the rest of the article here.

Round 1 Picks Due: Thursday, Jan 6th, 10:00 PM CT

All that you need to do for this round of picks, is choose the winner of the following four games...

Saturday, January 8th

* 3:30 PM CT on CBS -- St. Louis Rams (10-6) at Seattle Seahawks (12-4)
* 7:00 PM CT on ABC -- New York Jets (10-6) at San Diego Chargers (12-4)

Sunday, January 9th

* 12:00 PM CT on CBS -- Denver Broncos (10-6) at Indianapolis Colts (12-4)
* 3:30 PM CT on Fox -- Minnesota Vikings (8-8) at Green Bay Packers (10-6)


Remember, email your picks, the name you want to go by here, and your blog URL (if you have one) to me at: ESSFingers(at)gmail(dot)com.

Your picks are due by Thursday, January 6th at 10:00 PM Central Time.


At the conclusion of the Minnesota/Green Bay game on Sunday, I will post the names of those that played this round along with your blog URL, your picks, and your scores.

Have fun everybody! Make ESSFingers proud!

ESSF's Fantasy Football - Playoffs

Hear ye! Hear ye!

Fantasy Football has arrived here at the Fingers' blog.

If this works out, we'll have ESSF Fantasy Football all next season so pass the word around to your fellow bloggers.

The rules are simple. Everyone feel free to play - even if you don't usually follow football. Besides, it will make ESSFingers a happy girl! LOL

To Make Your Picks:

1. Round 1 - For the Wild Card games coming up this weekend, Jan. 8th and 9th, you are to only pick the winner of each game.

2. Round 2 - For the Divisional Playoffs games the next weekend, Jan. 15th and 16th, you are to only pick the winner of each game.

3. Round 3 - For the Conference Championship games on Jan. 23rd, you are to pick the winner of each game AND try to guess the first team to score in each of the 2 games for an additional bonus.

4. Final Round - For the Super Bowl on Feb. 6th, you are to again pick the winner of the game AND try to guess which team will score first. In addition, you will also try to guess the final score of the game which will be used as a tie-breaker if needed.

5. YOU ARE TO EMAIL YOUR PICKS TO ME AT: ESSFingers(at)gmail(dot)com. Please also include in your email the name you want to go by and the link to your blog (if you have one) so that I can give you a little publicity.
***Note - Do NOT post your picks in the Comments section of this post or any other post here.

6. Your picks are due to me before 10:00 PM Central time the Thursday before the scheduled games. (January 6th, 13th, 20th, and February 3rd)

7. Anybody and everybody is welcome to play.

Scoring:

Round 1: For each team correctly picked to win you will receive 3 points.

Round 2: For each team correctly picked to win you will receive 4 points.

Round 3: For each team correctly picked to win you will receive 5 points. Bonus - If you correctly pick the team that scores first in each game, you will receive an additional 4 points for each correct pick.

Final Round (Super Bowl): If you correctly choose the winner of the Super Bowl you will receive 10 points. If you correctly pick the team that scores first, you will receive an additional 8 points.

The person with the most points following the conclusion of the Super Bowl wins all the glory and the bragging rights for next season! LOL

In the case of a tie:

If there is a tie in points at the conclusion of the Super Bowl in total points, the person who came closest to picking the final score of the game will win.

EX: You pick Miami 18, Cleveland 10. The final score is Miami 21, Cleveland 9. You are 3 points away on Miami's score and 1 point away on Cleveland's score for a total of 4 points away. Your score will be compared to the other(s) that you are a tied with and the person the least number of points away wins.

If you have absolutely any questions at all, feel free to ask in the Comments here in this post in case others have the same question.

For the official NFL Playoffs schedule, go here.

At the end of each week, I will post a list with each of your names/screen name/whateveryouwannagobyname and your results and point totals so you can compare it to the others that played. Be sure to poke fun of the others that finished below you...hehehe...but only poke friendly! *wink

BTW, I will not under any circumstances give your email out to anybody else just in case you're worried about that. I also won't be playing the game, only taking care of it. So no hanky panky from me!

There will be a link to this post and the weekly results above the cams over there on the right so you can find the rules & deadline dates as well as the results each week while this little fantasy football game of mine is going on.

With that being said, everybody go out and kick some ass!

Texans 14, Browns 22

Pisses me off...

Our team didn't even show up today and we were playing the 2nd worse team in the league. It looks like the Browns did to the Texans what the Texans did to the Jags last week. Gotta give the Browns credit though - they played a good game.

Well, another losing season from my dear Texans. 7 wins, 9 losses.

All I have to say is we'd better get a damned offensive line for next season.

I hope the piece of shit Jags lose today just for the hell of it. Hehehehe

6:37 PM Update - The Jags got lucky beating Oakland but they're still not going to the playoffs because Denver beat the Colts. Bwahahahaha!!! :)

 

Eat Some Damned Food

Israel says NO to thin models
It may become law for models to undergo health checks

THIN is not in, not in Israel anyway.
The country may pass a law requiring all models to undergo weigh-ins every six months to ensure they are not underweight.

Almost one in seven of the 12,000 women who tried out for a recent model search contest were so anorexic they should have been in hospital.

And Israeli officials say that 10 per cent of girls between 14 and 17 have eating disorders, reported UK's The Times.

One of Israel's most successful fashion photographers, Mr Adi Barkan, discovered the true scale of the problem when a television company filmed him searching for new faces.

Of the 12,000 aspiring models he auditioned, Mr Barkan found that 1,644 were so thin that they should have been hospitalised.

Many who were 1.7m tall weighed just 35kg to 40kg.

Mr Barkan now runs a programme to help anorexic models.

All the women on his modelling agency's books must have a body mass index (BMI) - a height-to-body fat ratio - of at least 19.

Some of the most serious anorexic models' BMI is just 7, while many underweight teenagers are 13 or 14.

Said Mr Barkan: 'I began to wonder where all this misery was coming from.

'I realised we as professional photographers, fashion designers and advertisers were at least partly responsible.'

He approached leading fashion chains and food manufacturers Line is overdrawn and persuaded them to sign a charter promising they will not use models with a BMI of less than 19.

He also persuaded MP Inbal Gavrieli to introduce legislation insisting all models undergo an examination by a government nutritionist.

Those deemed healthy would get a licence while any who were too thin would be given nutritional advice and a two-month deadline to put on weight or be barred.

The Israeli government is considering whether to support the Bill.

From here.

No Divorce For You

Pregnant Woman Denied Divorce
Spokane, Wash., Jan. 1, 2005

(AP) A judge has refused to grant a divorce to a pregnant woman trying to leave her husband two years after he was jailed for beating her, ruling instead that she must wait until the child is born.

Shawnna Hughes' husband was convicted of abuse in 2002. She separated from him after the attack and filed for divorce last April. She later became pregnant by another man and is due in March.

Her husband, Carlos, never contested the divorce, and the court commissioner approved it in October. But the divorce papers failed to note that Hughes was pregnant, and when the judge found out, he rescinded the divorce.

"There's a lot of case law that says it is important in this state that children not be illegitimized," Superior Court Judge Paul Bastine told The Spokesman-Review newspaper on Thursday.

Hughes' attorney, Terri Sloyer, said nothing in state law says a pregnant woman cannot get a divorce.

"We don't live in 15th-century England," said Sloyer, who has appealed.

Under Washington state law, a husband is presumed to be the father of any child born within 300 days of a divorce. The judge argued that the paternity of the child needs to be determined before a divorce can be finalized.

Hughes has stated in court records that her boyfriend is the child's father, and that the judge's decision prevented her from marrying him.

"She has the right to divorce and be free to marry whoever she wants," Sloyer said. "It's about the choice, the fundamental right to choose."

From here.

What do you guys think about that?

Deliciously Bad #2

Waking up today, my mind immediately went to last night. The scenes are still fresh in my head and are truly scrumptious. It excites me just thinking about it.

I must say that that was one of the best New Year's Eve I've ever had.

It felt so good being so bad.

After much reflection, I'm sorry but I can't post what happened here lest I offend some of my more gentle readers. If you would like to know what I would have posted, email me.

Happy 2005!

Deliciously Bad #1

I was a very bad girl tonight. Very bad...

But I loved every second of it.

I will finish reporting after I awake later today. I couldn't help myself tonight. *happy giggle

I hope my dear readers will be able to handle it. Deliciously Bad #2 post will be in the morning or it may be the afternoon, depending on when I wake up...

Take care.